What scares us most about anesthesia?

Recently, I underwent a major operation myself. It was not my first. And likely won't be my last. The first time seven years ago I was told I was going to be a quadriplegic if I didn't have urgent spine surgery, I thought, " Ok, let's get this over with so I can get back to life". There was nothing to think about, nothing to question, and nothing to fear. I had three kids depending on me, and it wasn't an option to NOT get it done and not heal perfectly well. Three months later, I was surfing Cocoa beach pier in a 3/2 mm wetsuit on a cold February day with my buddy taking photos. I could barely bend and flex but I could lay on my abdomen and paddle, and I could "pop- up". That is all I needed to do. So, I knew I would be ok and I was determined to regain strength and flexibility and resume all the activities I loved with friends and family as well as return to my profession of helping my patients get through surgery safely. Life returned to "normal" albeit, a little stiffer. A few months ago, I was again told, I needed a second surgery that my spinal cord was dangerously pinched off, causing the excruciating pain I was experiencing. However, this time, I fought it. I cried, I bemoaned this recommendation, and sought our a total of four surgical opinions, all the while meditating, praying, and healing through Yoga and acupuncture as well as massage, rest and other complementary methods. Feeling some relief four months later, I didn't want to go through the surgery. I was really resisting emotionally. Why was I so afraid this time? To be honest, I was afraid of dying, of leaving my kids, or becoming disabled. Or not waking up. EVEN THOUGH AS AN ANETHESIOLOGIST I KNEW THIS WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Not only I am very healthy, but I had the privilege of hand picking my team. I hear this from my patients every single day, "Doc, I have no further questions for you. But please make sure I wake up". I always reply with "There is no other option, I can't stay with you in the OR all day and into the night, I will need to go home eventually", as we both end with a giggle. They usually soften up at this. I assure them again that it isn't an option because I know they will awaken, once I start the steps required to do so. It is an EXTREMELY RARE event to "not wake up" from anesthesia. Something has to go really, really wrong, which hasn't been planned for ( and treated) and/ or the doctor is not paying attention, which in my case, I KNOW is not going to happen. Also, it is imperative that you fully disclose all information asked of you and not hide any details, especially medications, prior problems, or recreational drug use. Because I trust myself and I trust the methods, skills, knowledge, and science I have studied and practiced so diligently for all my career, I can confidently reassure my patients. This recent surgery put me on the other side of the table this time.... Fear cannot always be explained away. I get that. And, sometimes, a listening ear and the touch of a warm hand, and a smile, is enough to help guide you through a potentially emotionally challenging situation. I will always be by your side.

Three years ago, I began a journey through the study and practice of meditation. It has been magical and I have been able to even apply some of the knowledge combined with neuroscience and physiology to assist patients with the fear of entering into surgery. Breathing is one technique, as well as a soft, guiding voice, and visualization. These can be tremendously helpful. The feedback I receive from patients has been amazing. Someday, I may even write a blog!!! Leave a comment below if you want to know more! Thank you for reading and remember, Breath Deeply, Love yourself and trust in your innate ability to heal.

-Dr. Shari